Moments like these...

Met a really cute boy today! Reminds me of Kyle, but Chinese. Haha He just graduated from AHS, C/O 2009. I think he gives off the bad boy, but still cute and lovable at heart sort of feeling.

It's moments like these where I think life is still worth living. I know I might sound shallow and superficial, but really. I'd thought I was going to wind up dying by myself. Living with pets or alone. I don't think I can bear the thought of having to be alone when I'm older. I really hope to at least have a stable... relationship by 22. I know it's impossible, but a girl can dream right? Haha.

I talked to my mom about Prom this year, and she said that I should go. But then I asked her with who. And she said, 哦，你不知道男生啊。(You don't know boys). I was taken aback. Even my OWN mother said that I'm not a 'boy attracting' girl. LOL She says I'm too spontaneous and crazy for a boy to love me. And it hit right there. I started to freak out. And I not calm enough? Am I not ____ enough? But then I realized that if the boy is really supposed to be the one for me, then he should love me for me. But I know that there are certain things I must change in order to get the boy I want.

I mean every girl wants their fairytale ending, right? But not all fairytales end in happy endings. Sigh. I'm making this sound like a freaking SAT essay. D: Wow. I think back to when Big Bang's STAND UP first came out, and I remember it was last summer. I came home from Elite, and it was the first thing I did. I looked it up on Youtube, and watched the Haru Haru MV. I still remember crying right from the beginning. Right until the end. It was such a sad MV, sadder than Because I'm A Girl by KISS. I mean, Seeriously sad. I miss OLD Big Bang days. When the music wasn't so electronica/pop-like. Now I feel like it's all just created though tweeking of sounds and stuff. I miss LaLaLa, Dirty Cash, and their first few songs. I just don't feel they're the same anymore. And then with the whole FEMALE Big Bang group, 2NE1. They are just on fire because they were pitched as the female version of BB. I bet if they were just sent off as another girl group they wouldn't be as successful as they are right now. But then, YG doesn't pitch girl groups. SO it must've come as a big hit, and that's why. But Park Bom is just crazy good. I love her and CL!

I want a boyfriend D: