cutiepie

This is for you (:<3

Wow. bbyboy.
Remember how you'd tell me all about your girl problems? About how the girls you liked never end up with you? I'd always get so frustrated whenever you talked about other girls. I never showed it, because if you were happy, then I guess I could be happy too. But then it was that one day. That one day that I just couldn't handle it anymore. About you and Joanne; how she was starting to like you and how she was starting to rub off on you. I asked you, how long did you know her? You replied, only a few days. I couldn't take it. That day, I've already known you for 3 years. Yeah, 3 years, and I guess you never noticed my feelings for you. I asked you, how long have you known me? And you said, oh wow. it's already been a few years, huh? I was silent for almost half an hour. I guess then you knew something was wrong. That I wasn't just doing something else or distracted. I know you're there. I can hear you breathing, that's was you said. And then I confessed.

I've known you for 3 years. We've been talking for almost 2 and a half. On your 16th birthday, I was the one who called at 12 in the morning just to say happy birthday. I was the one who baked you that cake. On your 17th birthday, I was the one who took you to the park. I was the one who took you to see fireworks. I was the one who planned out the entire day. I was the one who always finished your homework when you were too drunk to do it. I was the one that stayed with you when you couldn't get up in the mornings. I was the one that sent you little presents in the mail with no return address. The hearts and the letters and the hand-made toys. They were all me. I don't know what you're thinking right now. Probably think I'm some crazy girl. But I'm the girl that loved you. I still do. Not those other girls who you've gone out with, not that one Joanne girl, but me. The one you always fight with, the one you always disagree with, the one who you sometimes hate, and the one who makes you watch chick flicks with her while eating pb&j sandwiches. I hated it when you talked to me about your ex-girlfriends. I hated that they got to be with you when I couldn't. I hated the fact that you could be happy with them. I always thought to myself. As long as he's happy, you should be happy for him. And I believed it. But now, I just can't keep it bottled up anymore. I'm sorry. I know this is a lot to handle. I know you might stop talking to me, but I'm willing to take that risk to show you how I feel. But please, don't leave me. If you'd only known what I'd gone through.

I didn't know how you were going to respond. After all that I said, would you just hang-up? Maybe tell me, I'm sorry but I don't feel that way? My heart was about to jump out. I stopped talking and waiting for your response. After a few minutes, I heard you laugh. Out of all the thing you could've done, you laugh at my confession? I was so angry I was about to hang-up on you, when you said, Finally. I was confused. Finally what? I kept listening. You continued,

Finally you confessed to me. I was waiting for this day since the day I met you. I'm sorry I made you mad when I talked about other girls. But do you know how I felt when you went on and on about your guy friends? I always thought I wouldn't get jealous over a girl having guy friends, but this time it was different. Why could they be with her everyday when I can only see her for a few times a week? Why did I have to wait? What were they doing when they were with you? Were you happier with the than with me? I couldn't answer those questions, and I felt angry. From now on, I hope our friendship will stay forever, but I hope it can also develop into a relationship.

I couldn't believe it. Were we finally a couple now? After all these years, were we going to be together? I thought we were going to be together for a long time. 2 years to the max. Haha Way to be optimistic, yeah? I just always thought it was too good to be true. And I guess it was.

I miss you so much. I miss our conversations, and our long talks. I miss how you'd call me your bbycakes and how I'd call you my bbymuffin. It never made sense, but somehow we made it make sense. I miss how I'd tell you all about my day, and how you'd tell me about yours. How you'd stay on the phone with me for hours on end, sometimes not talking for minutes; just the feeling of having you near me was enough to make me smile. Our little inside jokes about pirates and ninjas, and our cute japanese moments. Sometimes you'd call me during lunch and talk about school. How there aren't enough asians. I'd always tell you to transfer to my school, so we'd be able to be together. How I'd get mad when you mentioned you wanted more asian girls at your school. I miss the times when you came over to my house, and we played hide-and-seek. I miss it when you found me, and tickle me half to death. I missed our inside jokes, and our 'dirty talk' haha. I miss the food you'd make for me, even though 1/3 of it was barely edible. It was mostly the thought that counted. I miss our web cam chats, our pose-wars, and our little games. I'd always lose, but thats because then you'd get to kiss me. I miss our little note passings. And how the mailman knew us. I miss the drawings you'd draw for me. Of me and you and the puppy I always wanted.

I don't even know how it all ended. I guess we just stopped talking. I don't recall ever getting into fights. Maybe it was because we never got into any fights. It got boring. The distance wasn't all that much either. I guess our love was like balloons. Keep it for too long, and the air just leaves. Let go of it, and it drifts away. Never seen again.

You used to call me your angel, said I was sent straight down from heaven. You'd hold me close in your arms arms. I loved the way you felt so strong. I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to stay here holding me. I miss you, I miss your smile. And I still shed a tear every once in a while. And even though it's different now, you're still here somehow. My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know. I miss you. Shalalalala I miss you. You used to call me your dreamer, and now that I'm living out my dream. Oh, how I wish you could see, everything that's happening for me. I'm thinking back on the past. It's true the time is flying by too fast. I miss you, I miss your smile. And I still shed a tear every once in a while. And even though it's different now, you're still here somehow. My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know. I miss you. Shalalalala I miss you. I know you're in a better place, yeah, But I wish that I could see your face, oh. I know you're where you need to be, even though it's not here with me. I miss you, I miss your smile. And I still shed a tear every once in a while. And even though it's different now, you're still here somehow. My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know. I miss you. Shalalalala I miss you. I miss you, I miss your smile. And I still shed a tear every once in a while. And even though it's different now, you're still here somehow. My heart won't let you go, and I need you to know. I miss you. Shalalalala I miss you.

Miley Cyrus

Might stop posting for a while. Recollect my thoughts, and get my head back together. Need to shape up for school, August 25. Shit. I doubt I can do it. I miss him too much. Bbyboy, come back to me ):